if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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