This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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