If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
a search helicopter?!
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
