as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Found the puke drawer
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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