so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
