Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
