Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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