remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
