Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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