Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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