lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize