i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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