I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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