Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
