his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
