In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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