The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
her facebook's as public as her vagina
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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