we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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