Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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