these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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