at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
