I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
