Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
