can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
