The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
