I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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