dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
