So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i need some magic done to my vagina
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
