I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
lets start a swedish sibling band together
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
