good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
