i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize