So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
