Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
