He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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