I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize