It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I fill condoms, not promises.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
