girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
