Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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