After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize