Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
