I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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