eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My penis needs a shock collar
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
