Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
