its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
