He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
