I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
