i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
