She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
A+ Viking dick
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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