Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
