I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
