why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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