You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize