I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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