drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
