Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize