one might say we're banned from that church
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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