Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
