I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
