I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
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