Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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