No awkward lesbian experiences without me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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