Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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